Do you feel anxious when you walk into a crowded room of strangers? Most people do.
When you walk into a challenging social situation like that, what is going through your mind? If you’re like most people you will be totally focussed on what everyone is thinking of YOU.
“Everyone’s looking at me”
“Everyone can tell I’m nervous”
“Everyone can see I’m not talking to anyone”
The thing is, when you focus on yourself, all it does is make things worse. The fact is even if someone did notice you standing there alone, the thoughts that are going through their mind all relate back to them.
“That person is standing alone. She’s looking at me. She can see that I’m standing alone. I bet she thinks I look nervous”
Most people can’t take the focus off themselves. It’s all about them.
But what if you took the focus off yourself? What if you stopped worrying about yourself and instead worried about others. What if you were more concerned about the person standing nervously alone next to the drinks table, than about your own nervousness? If you don’t know the answer to that question, let me tell you. As soon as you take the focus of yourself, you will feel MUCH less nervous.
Try it at your next social gathering. Focus on making other people feel less nervous. You’ll find it so much easier to socialize and the bonus is, it makes you much more likeable too!