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Protect Yourself From Low Confidence

If you want to know how to gain confidence, there are two sides of the equation. One is making sure that you do things that build up your confidence. The second is being able to deal with things that can potentially drain your confidence.

Think of this example. At the Smith Company office, John and George have just been told off by their boss. Told off is putting it mildly; they were screamed at. John feels awful. He feels like his confidence in his abilities has been wiped out. He goes home miserable. Now, looking at this situation, it is easy to understand why John feels that way. He was screamed at by his boss. We can easily understand that being screamed at by his boss made him feel miserable. That makes sense.

But does it really make sense. When you look at George’s case, you start to doubt the cause and effect relationship. George was screamed at even more by the boss. He feels a little bad about it, but understands that it really only applied to that one particular mistake that he and John made. The screaming has no impact on his self-esteem and he goes home and is able to relax and forget about it.

So why did the boss screaming at John make him miserable while not really affecting George? The reason is their beliefs. The beliefs they have colored their perception so that one felt bad while the other felt OK. John’s belief was that the boss screamed at him showed that he was incompetent. So he felt bad. George interpreted the screaming as simply related to one mistake and didn’t think the boss thought that he was incompetent. So he felt OK.

So the beliefs you have affect the way that you interpret the situation. Now who was right in this particular scenario? We don’t know. But who has the better attitude and maintained their confidence? Clearly, George.

Next time you are in a situation that there seems to be a natural response to feel bad, question it. You will discover that underlying the bad feeling is a belief that makes you feel that way. If you change the belief, you will change the response.

May 14th, 2010 | Category: Uncategorized

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