One of the best foundations of confidence is a full and honest knowledge of your strengths.
From when we are young, we get told it’s bad to be “proud” of your achievements. We should be modest and humble. We shouldn’t show off. This is all great advice, but many of us take it so seriously, that we stop acknowledging that we have any strengths. Many of us, so beaten down by the waves of life, stop believing that we even have any strengths.
Of course, if you are one of those people who think that you don’t have any strengths, I’m sorry, but you are so very wrong. The problem is you’ve gotten so used to ignoring your strengths that you’ve forgotten them.
One of the most useful exercises to do is to write down a list of your strengths. But I don’t want a list of 2 or 3 strengths. That’s not nearly enough. I want 50 strengths. I can already hear you recoiling in horror. How can you possibly find 50 strengths? Well, the funny thing is that once you start looking for something, there is a tendency to find it.
Have you ever decided to buy a car and picked a certain color, for example, red. After you leave the car showroom, you will suddenly start noticing red cars everywhere. Once you start looking for something, you will find it. Once you start looking for strengths, you will find them. Sure, a few might be a bit of a struggle and might seem a bit trivial (e.g. “I can tie my own shoelaces”) but that’s ok. Once you get to the 50, you’ll look at the list and see some real gems. Strengths that you hadn’t even thought about.
But we’re not finished yet. Our idea of what our strengths are is always going to be distorted. To get a better picture of your strengths you need to get an objective opinion. To do this, ask 4 or 5 people to tell you some of your strengths. If they ask you why you’re asking them this, come up with some plausible excuse (e.g. “it’s part of my quarterly evaluation”).
You will be amazed at what some of your friends will tell you are your strengths. There will be things that you didn’t even realize were strengths. Things that you had taken for granted. It’ll be a real eye-opener. And you can even be nice, and tell them their strengths too.
Remember, even if you don’t acknowledge them, you do have strengths. You are stronger than you imagine. Honor your strengths, remember them and use them every day.